There are many sides toa high-profile free agent decision.Of course, the fans, who spend weeks on end consuming rumors and insider reports, dreaming up the destinations. But it's also an emotionally charged proce s for players, who often are consideringmore than the team that will sign their next paycheck. John Tavares was the biggest example of the spectacle the NHL has seen in decades. In the two weeks , much has been madeabout the longtime Islanders captain opting to leavefor the pull of theMaple Leafs, a team he grew up idolizing. So the Ontario native felt the need to explain the courting proce s six teams made pitches to Tavares' camp and the conflicting forces that made his decision so difficult in an emotional apology to Islanders fans in the Players' Tribune. MORE: "I know how serious this decision was, and how many people it affected," . "I was given the privilege of some first-rate meetings, with some first-cla s organizations, the Leafs and the Islanders chief among them. These are amazing Ethan Edwards Jersey franchises, top to bottom and it meant a lot to me for them to pitch me as potentially being a part of their futures. "Which is why I want to say this as deliberately and as clearly as po sible: In no way had I made up my mind yet, as far as where I was signing, before I took those free-agency meetings. In no way." Scorned fans have been critical of Tavares' timing. He was accused of misleading the Islanders, not clearing a midseason tradeif his intention was to leave, anddragging out the drama longer than nece sary. He defended himself against those claims. "I know there will still be some people who feel I should have been traded or asked for a trade at the deadline. (I respectfully disagree. I was Captain of the team, and I took that role seriously)," Tavareswrote. "My focus was on staying in the moment, and doing everything I could to help the Islanders win.) I also know there will still be some people who think I strung everyone along, throughout my free agency, just to get attention. (I didnt and if you know me, this ones pretty funny.) "And I for sure know there will still be some people who think I signed a wink-wink contract with the Maples Leafs, in secret, on Christmas morning of 1997. (Not true, though for the record I would have if theyd offered.)" MORE: Tavares' letter goes on for 4,286 words. He touches onhisearliestmemoriesrooting for the Maple Leafs, including the viral bed photo he shared in announcing the decision July 1. Then he shares an amusing behind-the-scenes storyabout being locked in a broom closest inside Montreal's Bell Centreafter the Islanders selected him No. 1 overall in 2009. Not everyday you can live a childhood dream John Tavares (@91Tavares) Tavares wrote that his decision to sign with the Maple Leafs went deeper than childhood fandom. He mentioned how the Leafs "have a strong, young core thats accomplished a lot in a short amount of time," referencing Auston Matthews, William Nylander and Mitch Marner. He complimented the braintrust of Kyle Dubas, Brendan Shanahan and Mike Babcock, "great people with an impre sive plan for where this team can go and an exciting vision for how I can be a part of it." The Islanders mi sed the playoffs in six out of Tavares' nine seasons. He handed out thank-yous to former general manager Garth Snow and a number of teammates through the years, noting the franchise has a "bright future," even as he moves on. And when it comes to the fanfare and hurt feelings, Tavares said he understands. "But its also important to me that I dont sell anyone short, here. Its why I wanted to write this letter in the first place: so that all of you Islanders Faithful really do know how much I cherished our time together. Because I was born in Toronto and thats never going to change. But I grew up on Long Island and now that wont change, either." . Jamie Langenbrunner Jersey